I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
