Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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