Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Sober January is a disaster.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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