I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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