The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
