walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
