sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So vagazzling was a success
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
