You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
