craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
