Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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