Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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