Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
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did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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