She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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