Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
