I murdered the dance floor call the cops
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can you bring me the toilet please
They have beer where we have blood.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
