k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I wear drunk well.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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