a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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