a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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