my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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