You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
