I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
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If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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