is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
