I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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