I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The feeling are messing with the penis
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
