you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
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He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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