He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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