I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
