come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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