I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
