Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
