he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize