I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
