yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
