Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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