Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
