so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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