problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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