oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
