At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
