DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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