I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
