I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
