Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
