I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
