wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
