you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
