The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize