i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How does it feel to date your dad?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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