Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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