no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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