Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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