im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
