I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Bring me that man meat
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
