you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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