no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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