We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My legs feel like baby dolphins
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
