Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
