Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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