It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
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It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize