Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
