My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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