her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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