What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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