Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
